This article mainly talks about the timing of"I love you",whether to take the initiative or to be passive,and the speaker's motivation.
You must have been troubled by when to say"I love you"because it is one of the greatest puzzles in our life.
What if you say it first and your partner doesn't love you back?Or if they do say it but you don't feel they mean it?Being the first to declare your love can be nerve-racking(——)and risky and can leave you feeling as vulnerable as a turtle with no shell.But is the person who says it first really in a position of weakness?Doesn't it pay to hold back,play it cool and wait until the other half has shown their hand first?
"A really good relationship should be about being fair and being equal,"says psychologist Sidney Crown."But love is seldom equal."All relationships go through power struggles but,he says,
if a love imbalance continues for years,the rot will set in."That feeling of'I've always loved you more'may be subverted(颠覆，破坏)for a time,but it never goes away completely and it often
emerges in squabbling(大声争吵)."In love,at least,the silent,withholding type is not always the most powerful."The strongest one in a relationship is often the person who feels confident enough to talk about their feelings,"says educational psychologist Ingrid Collins.Psychosexual therapist Paula Hall agrees."The one with the upper hand is often the person who takes the initiative.In fact,the person who says'I love you'first may also be the one who says'I'm bored with you'first."Hall believes that much depends on how"I love you"is said and the motivation of the person saying it."Is it said when they're drunk?Is it said before their partner flies off on holiday,and what it really means is'Please don't be unfaithful to me'?By saying'I love you',they really saying'Do you love me?'If so,wouldn't it just be more honest to say that?"Collins agrees that intention is everything."It's not what is said,but how it's said.What it comes down to is the sincerity of the speaker."
1、What is the most important for you to consider when somebody say"I love you"to you?
2、What is the main idea of this passage?
A.The importance of"I love you".
B.The meaning of"I love you".
C.The time of saying"I love you".
D.The place of saying"I love you".
3、According to the expert,a good relationship should be
A.fair and equal
B.fair and kind
C.powerful and equal
D.confident and fair
参考解析：见第三段的"A really good relationship should be about being fair and being equal"。
4、In the first sentence the author means that
A.it is easy to say"I love you"
B.it is hard to say"I love you"
C.we have many troubles in our life
D.people usually do not know when to say"I love you"
参考解析："You must have been troubled by when to say"I love you",because it IS one of the greatest puzzles in Our life."也就是说人们为何时说“我爱你”而烦恼。
5、In the third paragraph,the phrase"with the upper hand"means
A.being low in spirit
B.having only one hand